FULLY LOADED CLIPS

So that sucked.

In an almost poetic fashion the Clippers found a way to hurt their fans one last time before fading into the obscure wasteland that is the NBA offseason. The players will now have all the time they need to heal up, work out, and buy expensive automobiles. The Clippers found themselves down by one point with 30 seconds to play and suddenly the stage was set. Chris Paul versus the Spurs for the Clippers playoff life. As is the Clippers’ M.O. Chris Paul fumbled the ball out of bounds before having it ricochet off Manu’s leg. The Clippers were granted a 2nd chance at a memorable finish in front of a home Clippers crowd. Once again the possession disintegrated into chaos and the Spurs came up with the ball. As if some evil force was toying with the Clippers, the Spurs’ Green missed 1 of 2 free throws with 10 seconds to play. Coach Del Negro called his final timeout and drew up his final abortion on his Fisher-Price white board. A near disaster on the end bounds pass nearly resulted in a premature ejaculation of a final play, but Mo Williams got the ball to Paul for one truly final chance at NBA history. CP3 waited for his customary 4 seconds on the shot clock and shot towards the basket. He cradled the ball like an NFL running back, praying for a ref’s whistle and as he faded back, he lofted the ball toward the rim. Clank.

And that was that.

I feel…so unfulfilled.

I don’t know how I would have reacted if the ball went in and the Clippers eventually lost by 5 in OT. But there was something about the play call and the futile fade away runner. It was so lifeless. So antiseptic. In a town like Hollywood, and a series record of 0-3, I just felt like it was time to go for the win. One shot. One 3 point attempt, win or lose. Do or die. But CP3 and VDN decided to go for the tie. Sure, that’s smart on paper. But it’s a home playoff game, down 0-3, headed back to San Antonio against the best team in the NBA this year. Suppose the 3 goes in? The game would become an instant classic and the #1 play in Clippers history. It’s a true love letter to the fans. If the shot misses? We end up right where we are right now.

So that was 2012.

There was a lockout, a trade, and a playoff appearance.

The Clippers put the league on notice and the league noticed.

Today the league let the Clippers know they’re still not there yet.

So now we wait for 2013. No draft picks to really get excited about. At least there’s a crazy free agency period waiting in the near future. But is it really time to be optimistic?

Personally I think it’s too early to tell. NO SHIT you say, but the way I look at it, the Clippers have more question marks than they have stable pieces. Marv Albert and Steve Kerr mentioned during the broadcast that the Clippers need to add a piece or two. The way I see it, the Clippers need to add a team to their two pieces. I mean, does anyone really truly believe the Clippers wouldn’t have lost to the Spurs if they had a healthy Chauncey Billups? Sure the Clippers would’ve been deeper and more potent offensively, but c’mon San Antonio is the class of the NBA.

Next year is another year. I really don’t know much and can’t tell you what the future holds, but for at least one year the Clippers will have Chris Paul and Blake Griffin. And I will take my chances with those two against anyone. Right now this hurts. It hurts BAD. But I couldn’t feel luckier to actually feel like shit. My entire life has been spent having to bid the Clippers good night shortly after Christmas, but this year was different. I got to watch my team in the playoffs. ESPN was talking about my team. TNT was talking about my team. Other teams were talking about MY team. The Clippers count now. I guess that’s what I always wanted. 

Now I want one more thing.

I want that fucking title.

Go Clippers!

GOOD NEWS:

-The Clippers gained homecourt advantage by splitting the two games in Memphis.

-The Clippers are shooting the ball well (56%), and CP3 appears healthy.

-Blake Griffin actually played BETTER in the loss than the win.

-The Clippers have extra days of rest to rehab their injuries.

BAD NEWS:

-The Clippers are making a bad habit of turning the ball over.

-The Clippers got killed on the offensive boards 16 to 4.

-The Clippers got out shot from the FT line 39 to 18

-The Clippers are hurting BAD. Mo Williams, Eric Bledsoe, and NIck Young got hurt and couldn’t return. With Chauncey and Caron already out for the year, this already thin team just got thinner.

REASONS FOR OPTIMISM:

-The refs will be homers for the Clippers. It’s very WELL known that refs favor the home team in the NBA playoffs. Teams don’t bitch too much about it because: A) If they do they’ll be fined and B) The refs will be on their side during home games so it evens out.

-The Clippers will never turn the ball over 20 times again. CP3 won’t let that happen.

-The Clippers will never get killed on the offensive glass like that again. Part of this has to do with the refs. Get ready for a lot of loose ball fouls and foul shots.

-Someone, anyone will step up and score for the Clips besides CP3 and Blake. Bobby Simmons was aggressive tonight and could get hot. Randy Foye really needs to get his shit together, but Mo Williams looked great until he injured his forearm.

REASONS FOR PESSIMISM:

-DeAndre Jordan. I love DJ, but he is becoming a liability in playoff games. He’s an offensive black hole (we knew that). But on defense, his commitment to shot blocking has left tons of rebounds open for the Memphis players. His inability to control the defensive boards put the Clippers in a hole for the first 3 quarters, until VDN knew he had to get him out of there. DJ is also too talented to be so careless with the basketball. He’s made a habit of fumbling passes and rebounds out of bounds, as well as making WAY TOO MANY ill advised passes. Boring plays like end line inbound passes are routinely ending up in Grizzly hands. DJ has to sit until he gets his head together.

-Randy Foye. This guy was on fire in the second half of the season and he was really shaping into one of the better 3pt assassins in the league. So……where the fuck is that guy?

-Injuries. I mean really. Chauncey, Caron, Mo, Bledsoe, Young? How much abuse at the wing position can this team endure? The Grizzlies are big, long, and mean. It’s time Kenyon Martin become the mean motherfucker we all know he is, and checks these Grizzlies in the mouth. I predict technical fouls. Lots and lots and lots of techs.

-Coach Del Negro. This series is going to be long. Tonight proved that, but now the Clippers have been down by double digits in both games and have only materialized a largest lead of 7 points. I really don’t know if Vinny has enough tricks up his sleeve to keep adjusting his strategies and line ups.

GAME 3: SATURDAY 1:30 PM PACIFIC TIME

PREVIEW: The Clippers will have the crowd and refs on their side. I predict the Clips winning a close game. I see the Clips taking the lead and maintaining it for most of the game, but with the shoe now on the other foot, the Clips will have to withstand a late 4th quarter charge from their Memphis counterparts.

Go Clippers! 

It’s not going to be pretty from here on out. The Clippers just have to keep on winning. The playoff race is going to be played on the razor’s edge for the rest of the way and CP3 realizes the Lakers, Grizzlies, and even Vinny Del Negro need not stand in his way. The Clippers are luckily flying under the radar and could be a very sneaky team in the 1st round of the playoffs. Unfortunately however, the Lakers and Grizzlies (their likely opponents) don’t show signs of letting up either. The hottest teams in the Western conference may be the Lakeshow, Memphis, and our very own Clippers.

Next up the Clips face off against the 1st place Thunder on Monday night. It’s a real shame the Clippers have to have a game that tough when they’re pushing for the 3 seed, but as we’ve seen before the Clippers tend to play up or down to their opponents. So perhaps the Clippers will be hardened into playoff steel by the time the season comes to a close. The Clippers certainly have to feel good about being one win from clinching a playoff spot. Playoff tickets are incredibly rare in these parts, so convincing me that we’re actually in the playoffs is going to be a difficult enough task. 

As for today’s game I was impressed in the starters’ resilience, but the bench really left a lot to be desired. Nick Young needs to raise his game now that Mo Williams is back from being injured. Nick Young doesn’t have the pressure to score that he was saddled with while Mo was on the shelf. I really hope he learns to relax and just let the game come to him. The giant red flag in this game was the 12th technical foul Blake “earned” by shooting his mouth off. Blake is a truly great player, but he continues to hurt himself by insisting on berating the refs after nearly every possession. With Blake’s next tech he will be force into a mandatory one game suspension. The Clippers have ABSOLUTELY no room for error, and Blake’s screwing around with the refs. Hopefully CP3 and even the injured Chauncey Billups will sit Blake down and explain to him that he’s hurting the team. Maturity is not this team’s greatest quality, but if they plan on making noise in the playoffs they have to learn to play smart. Right now the smartest thing they can do is keep Blake’s mouth shut.

Next up:

Lakers play Dallas tomorrow

Memphis has Utah tonight

Clippers face Thunder on Monday

Let the chaos ensue, go Clippers!

All you need to know is that Dick Cheney thinks this guy is a fucking asshole.

Today he crawled out of his lair to announce his “faith” in coach Del Negro. Why you ask? Because he’s cheap. He is a miserly cheap bastard that has done to the NBA what he’s done to countless tenants of his real estate empire. He continues to make money or save money without putting a quality product on the market. This year was supposed to be his great olive branch. This was the year he pries open his pocketbook and after letting the moths out and brushing the cobwebs away he’d spend some damn money on some damn talent. It appeared like this was happening. He stole CP3 from the Lakers. He upgraded at the 3 by signing Caron Butler. He picked up Chauncey Billups from and amnesty deal. Things started to feel like they were coming together. But he just sat there staring at Vinny Del Negro. Sure, he knows Vinny sucks, but the buyout cost of his contract, PLUS paying another coach a million+ dollar salary was just over the top. 

So now the team is falling apart (don’t get me started on the last two wins), he crawls out of the slime to publicly announce Vinny’s his guy. Vinny’s own mother doesn’t think Vinny’s the guy. Time and time again analysts have discussed that in this shortened season the entire NBA title is WIDE OPEN. Particularly in the Western Conference where the difference between finishing 4th or 10th is 3 games. 

A lot of guys look back on their lives and remember a time in high school, college, their 20s, whatever, when the girl of their dreams hinted at them that she may have a connection with her admirer. It kills each one of us because we never took that chance to ask the girl out. We were chickenshit. We thought there would be more time. There would be a better time, place, environment, etc. We blew it. We didn’t lose the girl, because that would imply that we had her at one time, we never even found out if we had a chance. It still haunts us all.

The Clippers are staring the girl of their dreams right in the face. Of course, it’s likely that she turns us down and we go home broken hearted, but is it really worth not taking that shot? Our only move at the trade deadline was for Nick Young. Not as bad as doing nothing, but still not earth shattering either. Now we desperately need a leader to coach these young men through the playoffs and the Sith Lord, er I mean owner, is too chickenshit to pay his fucking severance and hire someone with talent. 

Far too often in life men pussy out because of the thought of being rejected only to spend years and years of their life alone with a bottle of Jergens and a box of Kleenex. Judging by the way Mr. Sterling is handling this year, my wrist is already starting to cramp.

Next up: Phoenix. 

Here’s what we know as Clips fans:

1. The Clips beat one of the best teams in the East

2. CP3 might be the best 4th quarter player in the NBA

3.  Chauncey Billups is hurt BAD.

-Ok, Here’s the part when I call for the Grim Reaper…

The one position where we could possibly stand to deal with an injury or 2 we suffered.  BUT: somehow I don’t feel good. I feel like this was my fault. I feel guilty. I feel BAD. We’re the Clippers, we’re jinxed, but now we have the team to do better. I still believe we have a chance to win the Championship, but my false pride was bullshit. The minute I posted a confident post after the last game, I knew I was fucked.

Caron Butler made some late shots, and CP3 proved he’s worth every dollar, but without, Chauncey we’re another team looking for an identity. Sure, I can make the argument that we make more sense with 4 PGs and we will be more balanced with K-mart; but I’m never a balanced guy.

The end of the world is at hand, abandon all hope ye who enter here, repent for the end is nigh, and scientology blah blah blah. I’d like to say that the best Champions in the NBA have to face adversity then then overcome it. But in a short season, the lucky team will come out on top. The old saying that in the land of the blind the one eyed man is king is true, but in this case we need to find out if the 4 PG’d team is king.

 5 seconds to go, Mavs down by two, Jason Terry gets wide open following a pick and roll…SWISH. Same old Clippers. The collective heart of Clipper Nation was broken…again. There have been many Jason Terry’s over the years who find the Karmic shooting touch just in time to drill a stake through the heart of the Clippers faithful. Just as I sat in front of my television in the inevitable disbelief, Ralph Lawler began pleading with me to fasten my seatbelt. “Fasten my seatbelt?!?” This is the Clippers! They don’t win games like this; they only exist to make me feel bad and get mocked by my Laker fan friends! Then I thought for a quick moment, “This year is different, we have good players, good chemistry, a GOOD TEAM; we can DO this.”

Following the time out, Billups has the ball and attempts to inbound the ball to Mo Williams…he fumbles it out of bounds. Same old Clippers. I scream at the top of my lungs in my cramped bedroom. Everyone in the apartment building probably heard me, but I’m sure no one could’ve believed the painful scream came from that of a Clipper fan. This year wasn’t different. The only difference was that my pain was on national TV for the whole world to become witnesses to my destruction. 

After a long discussion and replay review the referees declare…Clipper ball! 

4 seconds to play. Chauncey inbounds to Blake Griffin. Blake dished the ball back to Chaucey and sets a brick wall of a pick on Jason Kidd. Chauncey is wide open, but this is the Clippers. He rises and lets the ball go. The net barely moves. My paralysis in front of my television is only broken by the jubilant celebration erupting in Staples Center. It went in? Yup, it went IN! This is a NEW Clippers team. This is a NEW year. The defending NBA champions came into Staples Center and LOST to the not-so-lowly Clippers.  Yeah there were 3 and 7/8ths other quarters of  basketball but that was all that mattered. Last night Chauncey made the shot that changed everything. Last night was the night that the Clippers washed the smell of shit from their jerseys. But all that can change if they lose to Minnesota on Friday.